By Yours Truly
Weddings are getting more and more personal. From the choice of location to the food, couples these days seem intent on making the day a personal celebration of their pairing rather than walking in the footprints of couples of yesterday. The traditional wedding vows of yesteryear to are making way for personalized wedding vows written by the bride and groom to be read out to each other at the altar. Conventional wedding vows tend to follow a stiff fill-in-the-blanks kind of format. Modern wedding vows on the other hand can range from stunning poetry, to simple and heartfelt declarations of love and loyalty. If the task of writing your own vows makes you quake in your boots, take solace. You're not the only one. Keep these pointers in mind to draft the most meaningful and heartfelt vows for your special day.
Decide on your Vows
This is where the two of you sit down and have a heart to heart about what you want to say in your vows. Decide on whether you want to have a single vow to be used by the both of you or two personalized vows. Make sure you're on the same page regarding the length. You don't want a situation where your fiancé has come up with a literary masterpiece while you've barely managed a few paltry lines. Now's also the time to decide on the wording of the vows. Some words like "love" and "loyalty" are timeless, and can easily be used by anyone. Others like obedience, may hit a raw nerve. Also make sure you both agree on the tone of the vows. If you want to get creative and go with a free spirited vow, that's perfectly fine. Just make sure your fiancée is in on it too.
Once the two of you have decided on a common format that works for the both of you, now its time for you to decide on the matter that you are going to include in your vow. This is where the "personalized "part of writing your own wedding vows kicks in. Answer the following questions honestly:
- What is the one great quality that makes your fiancé the man of your dreams?
- When in your relationship did you realize he was the one for you?
- What changes has your fiancé helped bring into your life?
- What do you see for your future as a couple?
Work on it
Once you have a draft ready, comes the next part - using all the mushy material that you have and selecting the best points that you'll include in your vow. Remember this will be a lengthy time consuming process that may stretch out over days. Read through love poetry and literature, or other people's vows and pick up an idea or a quote from them to begin fleshing out your own vows. Begin with a personal endearment like "my darling." Although it's not necessary that you have to begin with an endearment - if you want to start with each other's names that's perfectly fine too. The whole idea of personalized vows is that there are no hard and fast rules that apply. End, preferably with a promise or a vow that you make to your fiancé.
Once you're done with a first draft, put it away and keep working at it over the next few days till it finally evolves into a statement of love that's yours and yours alone.
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